


I Would Leave Any Party For You

by ahurston



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Communication, Fix It, M/M, Missing Scene, Monogamy Discussion, Season 06 Episode 6, Talking, coda fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:40:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22764877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahurston/pseuds/ahurston
Summary: You know I'd leave any party for you'Cause no party's so sweet as a party of two-Feist, Any PartyBack at the motel after leaving Jake's, David talks to Alexis, then David talks to Patrick.
Relationships: Alexis Rose & David Rose, Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 58
Kudos: 288





	I Would Leave Any Party For You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sonlali](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonlali/gifts).



“I almost had a threesome tonight,” David whispered into the dark of the motel room, sometime past midnight. He couldn’t sleep.

“I think Ted is going to dump me,” Alexis whispered back. 

“You go first,” David said, turning on his side to face his sister. “That sounds more important than my thing.”

“He doesn’t want me to come to the Galapagos.”

David clicked on the light. “Is that what he said?”

“I mean, kind of? He says I’d hate it. Something about fire ants. And shared bathrooms.”

“And you think he’s...wrong. About you hating those things.”

“No? Obviously,” Alexis said, sitting up. “But I just - I want to be the kind of girl who doesn’t care about that stuff, I guess.”

David formulated his response carefully. 

“I think Ted knows you pretty well if he understands fire ants could be a bit of a dealbreaker.”

“Ugh, I know.” Alexis flopped back onto her pillow with a huff. “He’s so great. He’s going to fucking dump me.”

“Okay, not really connecting the dots.”

“He deserves someone better. Someone different,” Alexis said quietly, gaze fixed on the ceiling. 

“Someone who likes fire ants, you mean.”

“Someone who’s nicer. More adventurous.”

“You’re plenty adventurous,” David pointed out. “Maybe even _too_ adventurous.”

“Ted and I have very different definitions of adventure. Did you know he’s never even been arrested?”

“I’m shocked.”

Alexis threw a pillow at him. David batted it away. 

“And does that bother you? That he’s never been bailed out of a Taiwanese jail cell?” David asked.

“Of course not.”

“So why would Ted mind that you don’t love the idea of roughing it in Ecuador?”

“Shouldn’t couples, like, support each other, share each other’s interests, or something? Like you and Patrick?”

“I have no idea. I think Patrick wanted to fuck Jake tonight, so I’m the wrong person to ask, probably.”

“What?!” Alexis whisper-shrieked, swinging her legs over the side of the bed to face him fully. 

David explained about the coffee table, whiskey that wasn’t actually whiskey, and Patrick’s child-sized shirt. 

“Wow, so you guys really didn’t learn anything from the whole Ken debacle, did you?”

“I...this was different.”

“How? Because it sounds like once again, you assumed Patrick wanted something, and so you fell all over yourself to give it to him without, like, having a conversation first.”

“You...might have a point there.”

“And another thing - wait. You’re agreeing with me?” Alexis asked, sounding mystified. 

“I mean, I think you’re right. Is that so strange?”

“You never think I’m right.”

“You’re sometimes right,” David granted. “Occasionally. About Patrick things.”

“Aww.” Alexis reached between their beds to swat him on the arm. 

“Don’t get used to it.”

“So _does_ Patrick actually want a threesome, or an open relationship, or whatever? Do you?”

“I don’t. I really, really don’t. But I...don’t know about Patrick.”

“Well, what did he say after you left the party?” Alexis prompted. 

“We just kind of laughed about it, and then I thought we’d go back to his place, but he...he dropped me off here instead,” David said, tracing a seam on his comforter with his index finger. 

“Maybe he thought you’d want space to process.”

“Maybe.” Or maybe not. Maybe _Patrick_ wanted space. 

“Sounds like you were both trying to do a lot of mind reading rather than, you know. Talk to each other.”

David raised his eyebrows at Alexis. “Mmhmm, yeah, that’s something that just _Patrick and I_ have an issue with.”

“Ugh, I _know,_ okay? It’s just, Skype is awkward, and we’re always getting interrupted, and we’re both so busy...”

David let the silence hang. 

“Alright, so maybe Ted really was just being considerate, about the ants and everything, and we’re not about to break up.”

“Maybe he loves you exactly as you are,” David said to Alexis, and also to himself. “Even if you don’t want to spend six months in the wilderness.” Or have a threesome. Or a baby. 

“One thing’s for sure - we’re both idiots and should talk to our boyfriends,” Alexis said. “Or, fiance, in your case.”

“I’m going to marry him, Alexis,” David said, the fact of it still somewhat shocking to verbalize. 

“Yeah, you are. Better figure out if either of you wants to sleep with other people, huh.”

David rolled his eyes. “You’re so wise. Are you going to call Ted?”

“I’ll send him a message to see if he can talk tomorrow. It’ll keep, until then. What about you?”

“I need to talk to Patrick. I’m going to go outside. Goodnight, Alexis.”

“Goodnight, David.”

David headed outside, sitting on the picnic table furthest from his and Alexis' room. He pulled out his phone to text Patrick.

**David:**

_Hey you awake_

**Patrick:**

_Yeah._

**David:**

_Are we ok?_

**Patrick:**

_I think so. But I have to tell you something._

_I don’t want to have sex with Jake._

**David:**

_Oh_

**Patrick:**

_You’re disappointed_

**David:**

_No, no. That’s not it. Come over?_

**Patrick:**

_Isn’t Alexis there?_

**David:**

_We can sit outside_

_It’s a nice night, no moths to speak of_

**Patrick:**

_On my way_

David switched to the notes app on his phone, and made a list. 

*

He was so engrossed that when Patrick tapped him on the shoulder, David nearly threw his phone in the grass in surprise. 

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you,” Patrick said, a half-smile on his face. 

“You could’ve been a moth. A very big moth.”

“Remind me again the source of that phobia - nevermind.” Patrick settled next to him on the bench, shoulder knocking into his fondly. He was wearing his gray sweatshirt and lounge pants, his feet visible in flip flops David had never seen before. 

“Nice shoes,” David said. 

“You want to talk about my footwear choices?” 

“No,” David said. “I made a list, actually.”

David passed over his phone. 

“Number one,” Patrick read aloud. “How do you feel about monogamy, either right now or in the future?’ Um. You want to go first?”

“Well, the question has really different implications, for both of us.”

“What do you mean?” 

“Well. I’ve had other guys,” David said. “You haven’t. And if we stay monogamous, depending on how you define monogamy, you never will.”

“Ah. I see what you mean.” Patrick scuffed his flip flop in the grass and set David's phone down on the table. 

“So it feels like if I ask you for monogamy - and I’m not saying _I am_ \- it’s a much bigger sacrifice, on your side.”

Patrick shrugged. “It’s really not. I’m good with it.”

“Okay, I’m going to need more to go on than that.”

“It’s simple,” Patrick said, hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt as he leaned back against the table. “I didn’t want to sleep with Jake, just like I didn’t want to sleep with Ken. I’m pretty damn sure I don’t want to sleep with anyone else, ever again.”

“How can you just _say_ that, though? Do you have any idea what you’re giving up?” David said, trying to keep his voice down, even though thankfully, the motel had few, if any, paying guests tonight. 

Patrick looked at him, eyes warm and fond. He really was ridiculously beautiful, here in the near-dark. “Nothing I’m not happy to lose.”

“Nope, no,” David said, shaking his head. “Ask me for something. Anything. Ask me to sell the store, to have your parents move in with us, to get four slobbering, shedding dogs. To learn the mandolin and start a two-man folk band with you.”

“It’s not about balancing the scales, David.”

“Yes it is!” David said, throwing his hands in the air with hopefully compelling emphasis. 

“Then they’re already wildly unbalanced.”

“Oh. I see.” David nodded, blinking. “I mean, you’re right, of course you’re right.”

Patrick turned, swinging a leg over the bench so he was fully facing David. “Jesus, no. I mean, balanced in _my_ _favor."_

“That’s not true.”

“You really don’t see it, do you? What you give to me?” Patrick’s head was tipped to the side, considering him. 

“No. I really, really don’t. Thus far, in the last week, I’ve asked you to be alright with the idea of never having kids, and now I’m asking you to promise to never touch another man’s dick.”

Patrick laughed, but David was completely, totally serious. 

“You’ve given me _everything_ ,” Patrick said, smiling. “A whole life I never thought I could have. How could I possibly begrudge you those two little things?”

“Sex and offspring? I don’t know - they’re pretty important to some people,” David said, picking at a loose flake of paint on the bench and avoiding Patrick’s eyes. 

“Not to me. I really don’t need either. Well, I need sex with _you_ , a lot of it. But you’re already well-aware of that.”

“That’s...really not a chore,” David said, eyes tracking down to Patrick’s mouth as though pulled there by a magnetic field. 

“So glad to hear it,” Patrick murmured, leaning forward. 

David’s eyes were about to close and their mouths about to meet when Patrick murmured, “So that was just question number one.”

David pulled back, blinking. “What?”

“You made a list, remember?”

“Oh, right. The rest, yeah. They were mostly filler, so that you wouldn’t think I was so worked up about the...about the monogamy thing.”

“I see,” Patrick said, thumbing at the corner of his mouth. 

“Um, can we wait on the rest of the list until tomorrow, maybe? I really want to kiss you now.”

Patrick cupped his face in both of his capable hands. “We can definitely do that. We can kiss as long as you’d like.“

And they did. 


End file.
